first times arent always the last
by elixo
Summary: i loved you then and i love you now – kise x reader (for ashly bc kishly is canon according to her)


**a/n:** this is a story for my kise trash friend ashly (yo ashly i hate you)

 **disclaimer:** i most certainly do not own knb (i wish i did tho so midoaka handshake _and wedding_ would be canon)

* * *

The first time you met her was in spring.

Her family just moved in and your parents thought it would be a great idea to welcome them in your village. You were 7 that time and you didn't know anything about greeting neighbors. You felt very shy at first but when you set your eyes at them you felt comfortable under their gaze.

You see someone else besides the newly moved couple. It was a kid just like you, she was hiding behind her mom being shy and all. You approached her and said hello and she greeted back and that was the first time both of you exchanged words (and certainly won't be the last).

You learned that her name was Ashly, a very cute name indeed. You noticed something special about her but you can't point out what it is so you just ignore it. She became your playmate and you're happy because finally you can talk to someone as old as you (your sisters are too mature for your taste).

 _(Spring has come, and so has she.)_

* * *

The first time you made her cry, you swore it would be the last.

It was around summer when it happened. You both bought ice cream to beat the heat. She offered ice cream and you happily took the offer.

As you both were eating ice cream, you accidentally knocked her ice cream because god knows how. She felt so down and you didn't know what to do. She eventually shed tears because 1. That came from her allowance and 2. That was her favourite ice cream flavour (specifically caramel).

Something about her suddenly died which somehow made you felt somewhat broken. You gave her your ice cream as an apology and she asks if you're sure and you happily said yes. She took it and thanked you. Something about her lit up and you felt whole again.

 _(When I look into her eyes, there's like a universe full of stars in it.)_

* * *

The first time you got separated, you felt something missing.

You both didn't attend the same middle school so the only time you both could have a conversation is when you're both at your rooms.

She found friends there of course and so did you. You both didn't really drifted apart it's just that you both didn't have time to talk to each other or play video games like the old times (though that was when you were both elementary and you swore you will beat her in _Tekken_ one day).

You suddenly went into modelling. It wasn't a surprise for your family because your sisters were also models. But your job isn't really that important, what bothers you is that there's something missing. You joined almost all sports at school and girls started to flock at your direction. But you felt like you've forgotten something.

And suddenly you miss her presence but you felt like there's something more that you miss. After exams you immediately knocked on her window and asked her how her day went. She tells you about it, her new friends, hard math quizzes, grumpy teachers and whatever was happening in her life. You're happy nothing has changed.

 _(Have you really forgotten something? Or has that something forgotten you?)_

* * *

The first time you saw her broken, you didn't do anything.

Basketball became your life. You've met so many great people there. Your teammates were like your second family. You felt nothing could ruin this moment (but not everything is meant to be perfect).

It started when the coach changed. Everything was ruined. Aomine, Kuroko and Murasakibara didn't attend practice anymore, Akashi was harder to approach and Midorima was the only person you can talk to (but it's still not the same as before).

That's when you suddenly changed too. It's like all you needed was to win. And so came your last game, it felt like your downfall. You couldn't believe the score. Everything was different. You looked around the crowd you see a familiar face and it breaks you and you felt like vomiting. It crawls into your skin, the feeling of guilt was never the best feeling at all.

There she is looking at you with her eyes now dark as the star less night sky.

* * *

The first time you realized you loved her you knew what was missing in your grey-colored life.

The Seirin vs. Kaijou match was over and you lost. You felt so broken, you knew you could've done something if only your ankle didn't hurt in the last minutes. You were strolling down the hallway, your mind is in another place suddenly you bump into someone and her voice sounded so familiar.

You whispered her name and she looked up, also felt the same familiarity with your voice. She hugged you tightly, burying her face on your chest. You can't understand what she's saying but the words 'I miss you', 'you're back' and 'you're such an idiot' was heard quite clearly.

You hugged her back, and promised to never let go

* * *

The first time you confessed to her was a total fail.

You were both taking the same subject at college and you both knew that math wasn't the best subject. She asked you the answer in number 2 but you were too busy answering number 3 and you just gave her your notebook and told her the answer was there.

She took it and scanned through it but suddenly stops in one page and that's when you realized that math meant the most boring subject ever, math meant a book full of scribbles, a book full of scribbles meant a book full of basketball and her name with hearts and stuffs.

You looked up and couldn't find the right words to say. She just blushed and closed the book and said that she didn't see anything (which obviously she did).

An awkward silence was never healthy for anybody.

* * *

The first time you saw her walk along the aisle, you knew her eyes was your favourite thing.

She looked dashing. She's everything you've dreamt off. You felt so happy, nothing can ever replace this moment. You felt tears. You can't believe you're crying. She approaches you and tells you that your tears will cover your star like eyes. You tell her that she's wrong, because little did she knew that her eyes were the stars that brightens up your darkest nights.

 _(I do, I do, I do and I do.)_


End file.
